Teenage Headed Baby

Regular headed babies are annoying enough as it is. They cry, poop all over themselves, make horrible conversation, cheat at video games and can’t hold their liquor. Other than having a crawling foot rest, I can’t see any practical reason to have one. Now if having a regular, healthy baby, (if you can even call a baby healthy. I think the fact that a baby is unable to defend itself and can’t walk makes it defective) is a hassle, imagine what fat armpit of hell it would be to raise a Teenage Headed Baby. As the name implies, you get a baby with a baby sized body but the head of a teenager. Imagine the shit you'd deal with! Having to ignore whispers from friends that your child is a hobbit or Humpty Dumpty. Having your child spit up food and follow it with “whatever”. Those damn looks of disapproval like you’re not cool enough to push his stroller. So you curse at him to cut the ish out, but he keeps doing it anyway because he’s a stupid baby that can’t speak English or answer the phone and you raise you hand to strike him in the face but remember it’s a baby so you go for the two-handed choke around the throat but before you can crush his windpipe he utters the words “daddy” and so you pull back and a tear rolls down your face as you walk out the door right into a moving bus because you realize that your baby is just a midget of below average intelligence and he’ll never play pro basketball.