Metro-Taur

Once upon a time, a man with the fashion sense of a woman had sex with a cow. A female cow. He either wanted to tick off the god Zeus or piss off his dad. Either way, the cow got pregnant and gave birth to an abomination. The half-cow, half-metro sexual beast known as the Metro-Taur. Filled with shame, the cow sent the creature to Ohio to hide and work as a convenient store clerk. The Metro-Taur grew tall and lanky and developed a lisp and never once did he ever commit a fashion faux pas but the beast's patience grew short and he delivered snappy, poor service to his customers. And so a rumor foretold that one day, a groovy man with jiggy ass drawing skills would encounter the beast and slay him with his verbal kung fu skills. And behold on this day, said groovy man did meet the beast and stood still as the creature sized him up through his hip, thick rimmed glasses and asked him if he wanted credit or debit. So the man paid the beast for his hoagie and double chocolate milk and left quickly, sparing the animal's life. Many will ask why he let the beast live that day. Some will say cowardice and others, mercy. Well it should be known that he couldn't wait to get out of that shop because it's uncomfortable as hell getting eye-fucked by a Metro-Taur. He dost not swing that way.